Memories Of Having A Connection
by GeneHuntsGirl
Summary: Alex is remembering all her memories with Gene. Throughout all the series of Ashes and what she reminds herself and Gene were their best moments. I will someday do a decent summary :  x
1. Chapter 1

**Memories of having a connection**

I'm sitting in the pub with a glass of Bollinger. I miss you. I'm remembering everything we had together. Why hadn't you come in the pub with me? I wanted you here Gene but you just sent me in here to pub heaven. On my own.

I remember when I first met you Gene. I'd just found myself in this world, I didn't know what I was doing here. I was dressed as a prostitute. Red dress, Gold necklaces, black stockings, red heels and a fur coat. There was the sound of engines. There in front of me was this gleaming red Quattro shining in the sun. Those boots. Those brownie coloured snakeskin boots and there was you Gene Hunt! With your black suit, perfect hair and your gorgeous eyes. I fainted and woke up to find myself outside the police station, your cleverly built little world. You picked me up with your soft gentle hands and carried me into the station, I leant my neck into the crook of your neck.

You were a stubborn, obnoxious bastard at times but somehow your presence made everyone feel safe. Every night you'd go to Luigi's after a long day's work and I'd come along with you. When you weren't looking and nor was anybody else I'd look into your eyes. Our eyes never locked properly though did they Gene? There might've been a glimpse at times, a glimpse of hope but you wouldn't let me in would you?

It was the day of the royal wedding and you were still too tied into your job to even just stop work for one day. I nearly got blown up in Danny Moore's car! Would you have cared Gene? Even if you did you wouldn't have shown it. I remember you distinctively telling me that you wanted to stamp my arse, I was dead set against it wasn't I? I gave in though, I did it for you Gene and yet you still treated me like shit!

There was that rape case wasn't there? You didn't believe Trixie just because she was a "Sex Worker" I believe her though didn't I? Because that's what proper coppers do! I made up a lie didn't I? Saying I was once a prostitute and for a few seconds you believed me. I quote you saying after I told you the truth about how your preconceptions inform your judgement about others. "I would rather go with one of them" and you pointed directly at the prostitutes. You continued, "Than waste my money on some bitter, twisted, messed up, clenched arsed, toffee nosed bitch like you!" It showed what you really thought of me didn't it! I'd had enough of you and your stupid ways. My hand reached out and gave you a hard slap around the face. And if you STILL hadn't had sense knocked into you, you said "You feel better now?" I answered you with a punch in the chin, being the childish man you were at times you didn't speak to me until we got to Luigi's that night. You deserved it.  
>Remember I slept with that "Thatcherite wanker"? You'd told me to go to bed alone but I didn't listen did I? I woke up the next morning feeling so rough and you called me into your office and we had a full on row didn't we? I didn't want to argue with you Gene, I really didn't.<p>

Oh yeah and then there was the vault incident wasn't there? I wouldn't have ended up in there if it wasn't for you in the first place. You wanted to go into the vault to get a document and me being me I came with you. And when I accidently locked us in there you started shouting at me didn't you. I was surprised how Sam Tyler had put up with you for so long. We sat there boiling didn't we? You took your shirt off; I took my pink blouse off. I thought I was going to die in an underground vault with you. What a way to die eh. I felt like crying but I didn't show it so instead I said to you, "I can't die, can I?" you just looked at me with your gorgeous eyes, I asked again "Can I?" you just continued to look at me; held your arm out. I leaned on you; your hand rested on my shoulder; my hand lay on your chest, I then looked up deep into your eyes. We had a connection. I could see it. I could tell. Then I closed my eyes.

How could I forget the fridge? Chas and Joan Cale. Remember earlier on that day you'd thrown me off the team just because I'd gone and got some evidence for YOUR stupid case. I'd gone to find Chas Cale about the bloke called Billy who'd been murdered. Joan had hit me over the head with a pan, I fell to the floor and I couldn't move. She and Chas had then tied me up and Joan dragged me into the freezer. I kept screaming. I needed you Gene, I really did. I thought you weren't going to come for me but you did! I could see a clown but then I see you. My vision was slightly blurry and a single tear fell down my face before I lost consciousness. I remember waking up and seeing you towering above me. I gently cupped your face. I could see it we had a connection.

The TV in my flat. The clown. He spoke to me. He told me he was going to take someone. I thought it was going to be you Gene, I really did. You did that interview for me on the TV you was dead set against doing it but you gave in. That bloke Gil Hollis, the charity worker. He had a gun didn't he, he came for you. We were just coming out of Luigi's and were walking up those concrete steps. We got to the top and I was talking to you Gene, do you remember what we were saying? "Are you waiting for a grovelling apology to serve your wounded male ego? I said to you, you replied with, "If you'd care to drop to your knees in front of me, I will not object." I just looked at you. You held your bottle of champagne up and there was a gunshot, I thought it had hit you. Fortunately it hadn't it had hit your bottle. You shouted at everyone to get back inside, I flinched as I ran down the stairs as there was another gunshot. I jumped on the floor and you jumped on top of me as if you were trying to protect me from harm. The only thing was I didn't imagine that when you were lying on top of me we were going to be here. You wanted to go outside and see what Gil wanted; being the hard man you think you were. I didn't want you to go I was so terrified it was going to be you who were going to die. I grabbed your arm as you went to leave, and you said to me "I'm not dying in a trattoria" You pulled your arm away and I held your hand, You pulled away and went outside, I couldn't leave you on your own if you was going to die so I followed you outside. We talked to Gil together didn't we? As a proper team, we had a connection. Gil chucked the gun towards you but he didn't pull the trigger, you might've had a slight knock when the gun knocked you but it was better than being shot wasn't it? I couldn't have been happier but I didn't show my emotions. Gil ran off and Shaz followed him. It was her wasn't it! NO! Gil stabbed her by accident when we finally got to them. I tried to revive her, I thought she was dead but she wasn't. She breathed. But you being you, you let Chris kick 10 types of shit out of poor Gil. He didn't deserve that Gene! You tried to take me home but I pushed you away.

It came to the day that it was the day my parents were supposed to die. Even then we were arguing over different things. You were having Lord Scarman come to visit your station and you wanted it spic and span. I kept my distance from the station as much as I could and on the way accidently injured Ray. You were far from impressed. I came back to the station and was writing on the white board about the car bomb that was going to happen. Lord Scarman asked me what I was doing and I told him about the car bomb that hadn't even gone off yet. You went mad at me when we got in the office. I arrested my parents didn't I? To try and save their lives but oh no. Do you remember what you did? You let them go! You were a stupid man. You'd basically just killed them. Now they were going to be blown up! And it's your fault your bastard! I wanted to hate you but I couldn't bring myself to. You were too important and crucial to my escape out of this world. I needed to at least try and stop this happening though. Someone had to. You drove me to where the bomb was going to go off. It happened though. There was a loud bang and the car was in flames with my parents inside. I fell to the floor and just screamed. You'd ran up the hill and taken the little girls hand, all that time I thought it was her godfathers hand. It wasn't. It was you. You took that little girls hand. You took my hand.

**Hope you like it so far. I'm trying to get chapter 2 together and there should be a chapter 3 hopefully within the next few months. I'm not sure when I'll be uploading them though because I've got GCSE's coming up. I know before I've said I'm going to put chapters up and I haven't. I promise I will try and get these up as soon as possible. But for now please R&R. peace&love GeneHuntsGirl.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Memories Of Having A Connection**

Whey I'm happy with myself I've managed to finish chapter 2 *jumps in mid-air*. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Peace&love GeneHuntsGirl.

Xxxx

We're in this dark tunnel Gene. You remember don't you? You were worried about getting shit on your boots and I told you, you wouldn't because this tunnel hadn't been used since the turn of the century. Chris went off ahead didn't he Gene. He shone his light on a sign that said "Tunnel 69". I, you and Ray went to stand where Chris was. I answered him with "Tunnel 96 why?" he said "Not 69?" You had to make some smart comment somewhere didn't you Gene? "I'm sure D.I. Drake knows what a 69 is". I just simply looked at you Gene, what was the point in answering?  
>Remember that bloke who'd died? Sean Irvine? And the girl who'd been with him Sally Jones? Sean's best mate Kevin Hales shot her in the back didn't he? After we'd been to interview her. She fell forward and you caught her she was gasping for breath. There was some kindness in you Gene wasn't there? I just didn't very often see it.<br>I'd gone back to try and see if I'd missed out any vital evidence back at the strippers club where Sean had died didn't I. You didn't come with me I was on my own. I could hear a helicopter overhead and I looked up to see what was there. All of a sudden there was a hand clamping my mouth. I tried to scream and struggle but vision went blurry and it all went black. I woke up to thinking I was back home again. It looked like home. A doctor in green came over to see me. I thought I'd woken up in the real world! He began to speak to me "I'm a little disappointed in you Alex; the great detective can't unravel the simplest clue". The doctor then pulled back the curtain and I could see we weren't in a hospital but in what looked like a garage. I wanted you to rescue me Gene! The doctor put a police radio next to my head. "Will your friends come if they hear you cry for help?" he asked. I didn't speak so he'd adjusted the drip that was going into me, my vision continued to go blurry. I screamed into the radio and you heard me Gene because you came for me! I muttered "Guv" and it went black once again. But you saved me Gene, I woke up. I could see it we had a connection.

There was the gypsy camp Gene. You got the blame for killing one of gypsies. Jed Wicklow. I tried to support you Gene. But you didn't want to listen to what I had to say you only listened to the Super. SuperMac. You wanted to do things your way and I wanted to do things by the book. You thought it was Alva, I thought it was Dr Battleford. A while later we had a full blown out argument, I'd said to you, "What is the matter with trying to improve the system? Corruption..." and then you jumped down my throat and thought I'd accused you of being corrupt! I wanted to give up on you Gene, no matter what I ever said to you actually went in did it? You never wanted to listen to me Gene. We later on interviewed Dr Battleford again didn't we? And you let him go. You bloody let him go! I told you he is guilty of murder and you being sarcastic you went "Fine" I then said to you "If this is your idea of preserving something, then you should hang! All of you should hang! Newman is right. Scarman is right. You're filthy and you're rotten! Which you were Gene. You were. I didn't want to feel this way about you but I did. After this sort of full out argument I went and sat on the chair and you came and stood right in front of me. "Thank you", "Why?" "Because I'm scared a lot of the time and you were one of the only things I could rely on". There was a moment when it was just the two of us; I looked into your eyes, such a peaceful silence. Then Shaz interrupted it, we had to go down to the gypsy camp.  
>Alva had gone missing and you were sorting out the fight between Ray and Terry. I went to look for Alva and found her in the forest, inconveniently having a baby. You came along too Gene. You took the girls hand like you had mine back when my parents had been blown up. There was a soft side to you Gene Hunt. I couldn't believe it.<p>

Gene, do you remember when I got locked in the room with Jeremy Hulse? He wouldn't let me go and I thought "This is it Alex this is how it ends". He had a gun. He was going to shoot me. You burst in though and when the gun went off you pushed me to the floor so that I wouldn't get shot. You were risking your own life for me.

Ah yes. And then there was the time that Jackie Queen came to visit and she thought there was something going on between us two. We both said no in utter shock. I wish there had been something going on between us Gene. You meant everything to me in this world. Jackie had said she was having your baby. We went to Luigi's and you agreed to be the baby's dad. I didn't show it but I was utterly heartbroken. How could you Gene! How bloody could you! I thought we were the ones. I thought we had a connection. I couldn't have been more relieved if I'd tried when Jackie then announced it wasn't your baby. I had to laugh when you told Luigi to "Put the cork back in Luigi, we've just separated" I had you back Gene!

I met Peter Drake didn't I Gene one day. Remember? My future husband (Somehow that doesn't sound quite right does it?) Gaynor Mason had turned out to be George Staines. He wanted to be a woman and then Peter threw a brick at Gaynor and she'd ended up in hospital. She woke up when you shook the bed violently. Gaynor wouldn't speak to you unless you called her Gaynor and not George. You called her a "Gender, bender, weirdy, beardy freak of nature" She kicked you in that place ;), I so much wanted to laugh and I ran outside to find she was now on the floor with Ray and Chris standing next to her.

I got framed for a murder didn't I? The younger Martin Summers murder. It wasn't me who actually killed him though. You didn't believe there was another Martin Summers. You only knew the younger one. The older one knew how to stay well hidden. The older Martin killed his younger self and then placed the gun in my hand so it had looked like it was me who'd killed him. I had to push him into concrete when he was dead. I hoped I'd never get found out and luckily I didn't.

How could I forget this day? It was the day you shot me Gene. That woman. Jeanette had tried to come between us and it had worked because I'd kept on going on about Martin Summers and you kept repeating he was dead. But you didn't believe me about the other Summers did you? We had yet another fully blown out argument in your office. I ended up slapping you when you said I never phoned Molly. I couldn't because I was stuck here! It came to the time when there was the blag about to go on. I ran off after Summers in that small church-like yard. I told him what he wanted to know and then you came in with a gun and shot him. He died. I thought it was all over and that I could return home. But I couldn't because then Jeanette aimed her gun at me and held me tight. Gene aimed his gun at Jeanette. There was a bang and Jeanette had run off. I heard you say "Bolly" and I was falling to the floor. You'd shot me Gene. You'd shot me. I looked up at you and then Ray, Chris and Shaz appeared. There was the bright white light like just before you die. I thought this was the end. It had to be. I woke up in the real world Gene but then you appeared on all the screens. I was in a coma WITHIN a coma? It wasn't possible Gene!

**Well there's chapter 2 finished :D One more chapter too come or maybe another two if I know what to write for the fourth. I've already got plans for the third so this one shouldn't take too long to write either peace&love GeneHuntsGirl. Please R&R for now :D x 3**


	3. Chapter 3

**Memories Of Having A Connection**

**Heey everyone sorry some of the episodes I didn't really think were based around Alex and Gene like the other ones were. For example eps 3&4. Thanks for reading though and enjoy xx**

I never told you Gene but I'd been to see a therapist back in 2008. I told her all about your world Gene. But she didn't believe me. I then went to a shop and looked at a DVD called Legal Force. You and the team were all on the front Gene! I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I put the DVD back down and went over to the TV screens at the back of the shop. Then everyone appeared on the screens. Then there was you Gene. You were on the screen talking to me. I found myself in Piccadilly Circus and then in this cell. A ghostly looking copper appeared.  
>I felt a slap across my face. It was you Gene Hunt. Bloody Gene Hunt! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! You took me back to the station. Everyone was surprised to see you as well as me. You ran away from your mistakes didn't you Gene? Couldn't face up to them. We found out that a girl had been taken victim. Little Dorothy Blonde. We met D&amp;C then didn't we? Jim Keats. Was he a devil? Or was he an angel? I didn't know Gene.<p>

There were the girls who had been killed at different dating agencies darted around the country. There was a dating agency in Fenchurch and I went in there putting myself in danger trying to find the murderer. You obviously thought I was going to pull someone because then you came barging in saying "I'm looking for love you got any?" We then filled those forms in together in your office Gene. I looked into your eyes. We did have a connection.  
>Shaz went undercover as a girl from the dating agency and met up with the suspect. We heard her through the police radio in the back of the van we were in. We heard Shaz scream and ran out looking for her. We found her and she was crying. She walked towards us Gene. You were behind the rest of us and Chris held his arms out for Shaz but she walked straight past and went for you Gene. For you. You hugged her. I wanted that to be me. You holding me close.<p>

I remember when D.C.I Litton and D.I. Bevan visited from Manchester. You wanted to get hold of Frank Hardwicke before they did. You didn't care how you got him you just wanted to beat them. You and your stubborn pride. Couldn't let them win could you Gene? That bloke got shot and then we had to find out who done it. I had all the information on Sam Tyler in my drawer and I went outside to find you. There was a fire in the dustbin and there was you standing next to it. Burning all the evidence. Even his jacket. You didn't want me to find out anything did you Gene?  
>It turned out to be D.I Bevan didn't it. Ray and Chris ran after him the night of the police gala. You followed and shot Bevan. Even though he'd killed that bloke Gene, you didn't have to shoot him! You went and spoke to him but I couldn't hear what you had told him. I asked you what you had told him when you walked over my way. All you said was "I told him the truth. City are gonna cane United this season" I didn't reply. I didn't believe you but I didn't tell you otherwise we'd have just had yet another argument.<p>

Viv had been taken hostage by the riot in the prison. You didn't want him to die. You didn't show that you were bothered though. Still the same old Gene Hunt. I met Paul Thordy. He said he was Sam Tyler! He said he knew the truth! I wanted to believe him. You punched the shit out of him. Beat him up. You decided that we'd put Chris and Ray undercover as reporters into the prison. I knew this was dangerous Gene. You were putting officers under unnecessary danger.  
>But still they went in and then they were also taken hostage. Jim Keats was already going to go in with the riot team. I shouted at him not to go. But he went in. I bet he had heard me he just didn't want to listen did he. You picked up half a brick and I followed you as you ran into a passageway. It kept going round in circles. I kept hoping that we'd get there in time. You through the brick into a box and all the power cut out. We then ran into the riot. You went off to find Viv. I got Chris and Ray out and we then came to find you. When we got there we found that you were kneeling next to Viv. He was dead. And then Jim came and spoke to me. I ignored him and came and knelt down with you next to him. I went back to the police station and started to cry but then this ghostly copper with the number "6-6-20" appeared again. I'd seem him a few times but he never spoke to me. I asked him "How do I help you?" he looked up and then turned his face towards your office. I walked in there and looked into your drawer where I found a tin box. I opened it to find a photo film and also a picture of a copper. It had the number "6-6-20" on it! Why did you have that Gene?<p>

Ahh yes. I asked you to come out to dinner with me. We went out; I was dressed in a white dress and my fur coat. You was in a suit but different to what you usually wear. You looked gorgeous Gene. I asked you "Did you or did you not kill Sam Tyler?" you replied with "Sam Tyler was a friend of mine. Bloody irritating friend most of the time, it has to be said. But I learnt more from him than I've ever learnt from anybody I've ever met. He was strong, decent, a brilliant copper. Our chat continued and I asked for the bill. You looked grumpy at that moment and your mood looked like it had changed. I surprised you with "Get your coat, you've pulled". That night we went back to my flat and I put on "True" by Spandau Ballet. I loved this song so much; I wanted to share my favourite song with you Gene. I asked you to dance with me. You said "No Gene Hunt does not dance" I said "He doesn't hug Christopher Skelton either does he?" You stood up and walked over to me. I put my head on your shoulder and we started slow dancing. This was perfect Gene. I wish this could have lasted forever. I looked at you and you looked at me. I looked deep into your eyes. You were so sexy Gene Hunt. I wanted you so bad! We inched closer and closer to each other, lips nearly touching. But then there was the knock at the door. Fucking Jim Keats!

This was our final chapter Gene. Our final day or so together. I went to Lancashire to try and find Sam Tyler's body. I got there and found the number "6-6-20" pinned to a scarecrow in the field. You followed me didn't you Gene. You got there and got your gun out and aimed it at me once again. I didn't care I wasn't going to stop anymore Gene. I was going to find out the truth whether you liked it or not. I kept on digging and then I stopped when I could see part of a skull. Well I thought it was. I found a small card. I opened it and gasped slightly. It was the ghostly copper. It had been signed. By you. Gene Hunt. Y..y..ou was the copper. You'd died Gene! I handed the card to you and you walked off into the house at the bottom of the hill. I went in there as well. You told me what had happened. You'd had your head blown to bits. You said to me "He didn't deserve a shallow grave did he? Did he Alex?" I said "No you didn't". I was nearly in tears. All this time Gene! I found out Chris, Ray and Shaz had been compromised. I couldn't believe all I was hearing! WHY COUDLNT YOU TELL ME YOU BASTARD!  
>Your team then remembered they were dead. They left you. They left with Keats. I wanted to leave you Gene. But I couldn't leave you like this. I might have meant very little to you but you meant everything to me. We were talking about how I felt when I first came here. I said to you, "When I first came here, I can't tell you how scared I was, spent half my life studying psychosis and there I was, thought I was as mad as a bag of bees".<br>That night after we'd done our final job. You took us to the pub. Your pub in Manchester. Nelson walked out and Chris, Ray and Shaz went inside. We was alone Gene. I wanted to stay here with you. I didn't want to go in there. I didn't want to go to pub heaven with them Gene. I wanted you Gene. Nobody else. I knew I was dead. I knew there was no way I could get back to my daughter Molly. But you wouldn't let me. You made me go in there Gene. But not before you smacked Keats around the face. He deserved it. I knew he was the devil. I wanted to believe for so long you hadn't killed Sam Tyler. And you hadn't. We finally shared that kiss. I'd been waiting for this moment for so long! You said to me, "See ya round Bollykecks", I said back to you, "Goodbye Guv". And with that I turned around and walked towards the pub. You were staying Gene. You had to welcome the next person like me and Sam here. You had to help them move on. This place was for people who had issues with their passing. And obviously ours had been solved so we had to move on. I love you Gene…

**Yay! Well…I hope you all enjoyed the story There maayyyyyy be another chapter. But for now please R&R. Peace&Love GeneHuntsGirl**


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